undercover colorsTwo of America’s favorite social forces – entrepreneurship and rape culture – are about to go head-to-head. A new startup by the name of ‘Undercover Colors’ is attempting to crowdfund a line of nail polish which, when dipped in a drink that’s been poisoned with Rohypnol or GHB, changes colors. If it works and gets enough public support, we could see the end of date-rape drug use, and that’s obviously great. It’ll be a tough long-term sell though, since the more common this stuff gets, the less necessary it’ll be as date rapists go to jail or get their asses kicked by girl-posses.

Seriously, though: Rape culture is so prevalent in our society that people can build a reliable business model around it. We can take for granted that women are victimized in this way so regularly that startups think it’s worth developing products to combat it. I know most Americans won’t go to that second level of thought and recognize the shapes moving beneath the water, but still, doesn’t that give you chills? The people this is useful against are so common that you probably know some of them! Eugh.

I think they should market it along with a nail polish sealant of some kind that makes your nails rigid and tough so that you can immediately punish your date with a Wolverine-style face-ripping.

Hey, it’s self-defense! He was asking for it!

(Update 8/26/2014) I done goofed up and forgot a crucial part of this whole discussion. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.