Written by Morbid Optimist | 03 April 2010

Deep within an arctic naval base, gunfire can be heard scattered around the landscape. Men are waging war, people losing lives without a second thought from the muzzle of an enemy's assault rifle. Grenades explode while helicopters hover above and wipe out hoards of what we consider "bad guys." Silenced weapons are used to rip through someone's back while snipers sit quietly perched atop the roof of a small administrative building. The ambitious meet their fate when a trip mine shreds them; the patient end up having their throat slit by a maniac who would rather cover the battlefield with a knife than follow a safe tactic.

The fight eventually ends, no more gunfire, no more death. We lost the battle for this base...

The diplomacy officially begins and the lines of communication open. The first words from the enemy come from a prebubescent participant, "We raped your faces! You all fucking suck!"

A moment of silence occurs on our side, the shock of reality just set in. We got our faces raped by a twelve year old. Eventually one of my teammates will pipe up in pride shattered indignation, "Shut the fuck up you little piece of shit," and a laundry list of insults will surely follow. These include:

• Are you even old enough to play this game?
• Blah Blah Virgin
• Did you get permission from your mom to play?
• Something about homosexual acts
• Physical threats
• Talk of sexual acts concerning mothers

Even when a kid like this is on my team and is doing well to help my team win, the entire experience is destroyed because they whine and cry every time something does not go their way.

Though this kid might be good at a Modern Warfare 2 (Halo, MAG, Battlefield, Counterstrike, Half Life, Quake, Doom, Street Fighter, etc.), this does not warrant him or her playing such violent forms of entertainment; Obviously they are not yet the age required to play (generally 17+). Parents allowing their children to play these games are severely at fault here and should see the error of their ways.

Due to this, I believe it's time to crack down on underage gaming.

Parents, by allowing your children to participate in adult entertainment, you're teaching them poor sportsmanship, language that would offend a sailor, and most of all that killing others is fun. Furthermore, as most of these kids are terrible, you are allowing your child to fall in to a pit of desperation. They begin to feel they are incapable human beings and will eventually just become a burden to society, all because you wanted to give them what they wanted and get them out of your hair.

Leave the video gaming where it belongs, in the hands of responsible adults.