Schwarzenegger Mandates New Toilets

In an effort to allocate further funds to needy areas within California state finances, Arnold Schwarzenegger has mandated that all toilet fixtures in state funded buildings be modified to the new "Super Lo-Flo Anti-Maintenance" fixtures pictured below.

A representative for the Janitorial Peace Corps has stated that the new toilets, without a base or available toilet paper, will help save California an estimated $349 annually.

A California state employee, who wanted to remain anonymous, was quoted stating, "Schwarzenegger has crapped all over us once before, it's only fitting that these new toilets leave us feeling like we're literally getting shit on ourselves."

The governor was unable to be reached for comment, but raucous laughter could be heard coming from his office shortly after mandating the new toilets.

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