Written by El Guapo | 04 August 2010

If you recall my All-Star Game post, I talked about the ignorance of the Los Angeles-Anaheim area fans. Well, I would like to revise that to include the San Diego area as well. What the hell, let’s make it SoCal. I am appalled at the lack of Baseball Etiquette displayed by these so-called fans.

Let me begin by making the disclaimer that true baseball fans don’t usually behave this way, and you can tell the true fan from the bandwagon jumper very easily. The true fan is either a season ticket holder or the person sitting next to you minding his/her own business and applauding the good plays from both sides. The true fan is also the person who goes to the ballpark when the team sucks and stays until the 27^th out.

The bandwagon jumper is the person who:

1. Doesn’t go to the stadium during the first three months of the season because “who knows if they are for real this year”. Really??? Some teams are not used to their teams being in first place and they pack the stadium because they know it may not last. Why not enjoy it while it does? I can guarantee that the Royals would sell out if they spent a few weeks in first place. The Padres have spent the entire season in first place, with the best record in the National League most of the time, and people still refused to go watch them. It pisses me off!!!
2. Has absolutely no situational awareness. This is the person who makes it to the base of the stairs and looks up, disoriented, to find an empty seat in a better location than what’s on the ticket. This is also the person who acts offended when the rightful owner of the seat asks him/her to move and go back to their original seats. Additionally, this is the person who makes their way to their seat and remains standing until they have completed a full 360 scan of the ballpark, as if looking for a golden nugget that may be stashed under a seat just for them.
3. Is always in and out of his/her seat in the middle of an inning, herding their kids every single time. What is so hard about waiting for an at-bat to be over, or even an inning? What is the urgency in getting that hot dog when Adrian Gonzalez is on a 2-2 count? Why can’t you wait to get the hot dog until Adrian has either reached base or made his way back to the dugout? But more importantly, why the hell are you blocking my view????
4. Does not keep an eye on his/her kid(s). Why do I have to endure your kid kicking the back of my seat while you sit there with your toes in the air talking to your girlfriend on the phone? Seriously, who goes to a baseball game to talk on the phone? Has it ever occurred to you that the lack of World Series success by the Padres is just retribution from the Gods of Baseball for your lack of baseball etiquette?
5. Feels the need to boo when the opposing team makes a spectacular play. I had never seen that before. The first time I ever experienced that was here in San Diego. My first Major League Baseball experience was in 1993 in Miami. My beloved Marlins have always had a legion, albeit small, of loyal fans that know baseball. I got used to applauding good plays on either team, I also got used to only booing umpires when they seem to have blown a call. Last weekend I got a chance to watch my beloved Marlins at the ballpark, and there were some spectacular plays made and some tape-measure homeruns hit; did they get credit for that from the fans? Absolutely not, instead, they got booed. Seriously, people??? Booing??? What the hell is wrong with you? These guys are laying it on the line and they need to be recognized, period.

There you have it, the main differences between the true fan and the bandwagon jumper. So, next time the Padres lose in the playoffs, or even the World Series, look around at all those fans that didn’t believe at first and took notice after the All-Star break that the team was in first place. The answer to the inability to win in the post-season may rest with those people standing next to you at the ballpark, and how they managed to piss off the Gods of Baseball so much that you are all made to suffer. If you don’t believe me, ask Cubs fans, they are still blaming that Bartman kid for their 2003 debacle at the hands of the Marlins. All I have to say is: remember that the Marlins scored 8 runs in that inning. Learn to accept that teams make mistakes and often blow their leads. The Church of Baseball has a good Sunday service that teaches you that. It’s usually on ESPN late evening.