Opinion
6 Good Reasons to Continue Smoking
|
24 September 2011
Everywhere we turn, we are constantly being bombarded with a terribly biased opinion. From commercials to the packs of cigarettes themselves, we are being told that smoking is a plethora of horrendous and life-ceasing compound adjectives. Due to this artificial and unfounded public outcry against smoking, I present to you the truth on why you should keep smoking.
Add a commentYour the Man
|
13 August 2010
“Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like...”
And so goes one of my favorite quotes on one of my favorite movies in cinematic history. Idiocracy. Add a commentFat Ass, Stop Ch-eating
|
29 July 2010
I am not mean, usually. I do not hate a certain ethnicity or type of person. If anything, I hate everyone equally. But there is one thing that is truly starting to chap my hide and that is the fats. Now, before everyone tries to get all bitter and bent out of shape, allow me to explain my definition of a “fat.”
Add a commentModern Art... WTF?
|
12 July 2010
I can appreciate art. I recognize the importance of line, color, shape, shadow, and texture. I know that art is supposed to illicit ideas, emotions and convey a message. I have gone to many great museums to witness the works of Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Rembrandt, Dali, etc. And without a doubt, I find myself in awe, breathless. Add a comment
The American Camping Association Ruined Dating
|
05 July 2010
I don’t understand online dating. I have been trying it for the past couple of weeks and don’t really understand the idea behind emailing someone fifteen times prior to speaking to them in person. I know this isn’t exactly a new rant, but has all the distrust come to this? I blame all of my anger on the American Camping Association. These are the people in charge of regulating summer camps. This is an important task as many camps are run by semi-trained monkeys. Add a comment
Organic Food is for Suckers
|
22 June 2010
I consider myself to be someone who is fairly health conscious. I attempt to work out from time to time, no longer drink copious amounts of liquor unless I’m playing video games, and will attempt to eat my fruit and veggies just because I know I should. But every time I go to the grocery store, I am bombarded with the signs for organic products and a tinge of guilt crawls into me. Add a comment
Chuck Norris doesn't read American history; He tells American history what REALLY happened.
|
15 June 2010
DISCLAIMER: Chuck Norris; please do not kill me, I have been forced to write this article at gun-point by the Vietcong for your depiction of them in the movie, "Missing in Action". I trust you will know where to find them.
Your Child Should Not Be Killing Me
|
03 April 2010
Deep within an arctic naval base, gunfire can be heard scattered around the landscape. Men are waging war, people losing lives without a second thought from the muzzle of an enemy's assault rifle. Grenades explode while helicopters hover above and wipe out hoards of what we consider "bad guys." Silenced weapons are used to rip through someone's back while snipers sit quietly perched atop the roof of a small administrative building. The ambitious meet their fate when a trip mine shreds them; the patient end up having their throat slit by a maniac who would rather cover the battlefield with a knife than follow a safe tactic. Add a comment
Why is it Always a Fat Chick?
|
05 August 2009
You’re having a conversation with a friend while coming out of the supermarket, not being particularly loud, and you ask your buddy a question, “Did you see what type of soda we got?”
“No, what was it?”
“It’s in the cart, dumb-ass.”
“I don’t see it.”
This may not be the most intellectual conversation going on but, from out of nowhere, you hear a nasal voice chime in, “Can’t you see it’s Mountain Dew?”
Add a commentEmpowering Youth Through Employment
|
05 August 2009
While doing some research for an article, I came across a banner that said, “If I can, you can: Fight Child Poverty.” I asked myself, “What can I do to fight child poverty?” After researching the strategies of that particular website which included sending kids to schools and teaching them about Jesus, I thought a bit more could be done than some form of child welfare. Add a comment