Written by Morbid Optimist | 27 August 2010

In an apparent attempt to ruin every aspect of my life, Blizzard released Starcraft 2 on July 27th, 2010. Considering the game has targeted and affected me, and me alone, there can only be one logical conclusion: Blizzard developed Starcraft 2 for the destruction of my personal life and emotional well being. Anyone that thinks differently is highly confused and obviously has a severe logic deficiency.

In response to Blizzard's apparent lack of empathy for your's truly, I will be spending as much time as possible getting obliterated by my online opponents; that will show them. My main goal in such an attack against blizzard is to tie up their servers as much as possible by building massive armies of zealots and void rays, set them on patrol so they're constantly moving as to bog down the game and fun levels of whoever I am playing against. That is with the implication, however, that I ever play a long enough game to build such an army.

Yeah, I start all my games with a "gl, hf" but that doesn't change the fact that no, I really don't want you to hf. And screw your gl, I want to destroy your asshole with more fervor than Maxx Hardcore. I will begrudgingly admit that doesn't change the fact that my opponents will probably destroy my base(s) and army, but even though I suck as bad as I do, I still feel superior to you because I can at least say that Blizzard created a game solely for me. With that said, you're welcome for my existence and for Starcraft 2.