Area Christians Jealous
Of My Personal Relationship With Jesus

Hi, this is One Mountain and for sometime now I've been great friends with Jesus. Now the thing I should point out to you is that my relationship is not the conventional, "Well, I pray and I talk to myself at night and it's directed at Jesus so hence, I have a personal relationship with Jesus," kind of thing. We're buddies. Jesus comes over and hangs out with me, no shit. Up until recently, our friendship has been great until the local Christian community found out we hang. Now I get a lot of guff from everyone and their mom. I suppose it's because I'm not a Christian. I mean when you've been saying the rosary for 10+ years waiting for a sign then you find out Jesus is playing X-box 360 over at some heathen's house you're bound to be a little resentful.

Now maybe you're asking yourself, "Why would Jesus hang out with a non-believer?" Trust me, I've wondered the same thing. Jesus says it's because every time he tries to hang out with a Christian they're always up in his grill. "Don't these people ever read the bible?!" asks Jesus. "We didn't pen that for nothing." Being the son of God can be quite stressful. "I like hanging out with him because he knows how to chill." When Jesus comes over we just drink a few brews and sit back, none of that bible talkin' or miraculous healin' going on here.

Now, when I go out all I get is glares.

That picture is of me and Jesus. That was after I painted that sweet mural on his wall. Jesus said, "It's just what I wanted." and gave me a big ol' hug, God took the picture.